I think it may be a shell game, in that being "anti-gay" also may well be about feeling secure in your gender. But it makes sense that gay marriage would be a bigger challenge to gender conceptions than gay neighbors, because you can regard your neighbors as oddballs, but if the state says women make fine husbands and men make fine wives, suddenly you're the oddball for having ever believed your married status proves you're masculine or proves you're feminine.
I think it may be a shell game, in that being "anti-gay" also may well be about feeling secure in your gender. But it makes sense that gay marriage would be a bigger challenge to gender conceptions than gay neighbors, because you can regard your neighbors as oddballs, but if the state says women make fine husbands and men make fine wives, suddenly you're the oddball for having ever believed your married status proves you're masculine or proves you're feminine.
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